I’m sure many of us must have heard these phrases in our life, “you are not good enough”, “babe just work on your style, you look like a behenji”, “that guy is so ugly”, “that girl is so fat”, “babe khana kam kha yar”, “tune complan nhi piya?”, “your skin is so ugly”, “stay away from her, she is that kind of a girl”, “tu ganji hai”, “tu moti hai”, “you are so old-fashioned”, “you are worthless” etc.
It feels bad, doesn’t it? It feels really really bad. But you know what is worse than this? When we accept other’s opinions as our own reality.
They are calling me ugly that means I am ugly, they are telling me I am not good enough that means yes, I am not good enough for anybody. Why? Kuki vo insaan thodi hai vo toh supreme court ke judge hai jinhone jo bola vo toh hume maanna hi hai.
It takes a real big deal to form real opinions about ourselves so we take the easy road, we accept and move forward with other people’s opinions and expectations about us.
Those people whose opinions and expectations matter to us so much, they are not perfect! They have flaws, like all of us.
I know it’s very difficult to face ourselves in the mirror every day with all our faults and still accept us the way we are. It’s difficult to love our flaws because we’ve been so burdened by the so-called flawless norms of the society.
But guys, it’s worth it. If the road filled with pebbles and thorns takes you to the destination where you love yourself, please have the guts to take it. Because in the end, it’s us, despite all those imperfections, mistakes and bad deeds, it’s still us. Who will love us when we can’t love ourselves?
When was the last time you dressed up for yourself and not to impress others? If you haven’t then I advise you to please get up, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “wow, kya dikhti/dikhta h tu”. When was the last time you did something good for yourself and not to fulfill somebody else’s expectations? If you haven’t then I advise you to please hug yourself tight and tell yourself “I am so proud of you”.
People have all sorts of opinions about you, they may like, love, dislike, hate, adore and mock you. I’ve dealt with my share of mean people who’ve always tried to put me down.
I can never forget this incident which happened a few years ago, there was this aunty who came to my house and she said “beta tri shakl vagerah toh theek hai but teri height ki vajah se tujhse shadi kaun karega”. I remember crying for days after this.
In class 2, I was treated as an untouchable by my classmates because of my “abnormal skin”. Now I proudly say that I’ve come to a point in my life where it does not bother me what people are saying about my height, my skin, my personality or whatever. But this journey has not been easy. I used to feel so insecure all the time, I avoided short clothes, I avoided going out and meeting new people, I was literally ashamed of myself and I always complain to God, always! My family and friends supported me throughout and taught me to adore myself the way I am.
I know there are many more people out there who’ve fought and are still fighting this battle with themselves. I just want to say that you can never change what other people think of you, but what you can do is see how much are you going to let that affect you. Try to accept yourself then only others will, and even if they don’t, who cares? You are enough to love and embrace yourself.